Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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