sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
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