this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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