If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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