Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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