my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize