thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
