the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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