I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
