hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
