Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
