Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
