So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Two words: blizzard sex
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
