i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
