The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
