I'm lost and stupid without you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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