Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
