did you get engaged???
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
