How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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