Are we in a gay sports bar?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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