He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
