Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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