He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
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Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
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I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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