playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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