she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
