fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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