Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
