i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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