Are we in a gay sports bar?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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