Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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