Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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