yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
