your room smells of hookers.
And success
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
