do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
