There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
