I skipped work to stalk him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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