hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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