I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
