you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize