he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
