forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
