You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
