I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
