It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
