sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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