She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
