first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
