i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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