you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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