We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
