i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
