Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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