but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
