they need to just BURY HIM!
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
