I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
there was a trapeze. enough said
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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