New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
