bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
