I think I am morally bankrupt
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My bed smells like the plague
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
