capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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