i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
