I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
