ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
