I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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