and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my liver is dry heaving
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