When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize