i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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